If you ever want to track down who made your sandwich, forget about the bread and lettuce. Instead, grab a pair of tweezers and carefully remove the cheese. As police in Texas recently found out, a slice of American does a solid job of preserving fingerprints and can potentially be used as evidence.
Granted, the case in question won't necessarily make the world a safer place—just a less prank-filled one. According to Dallas's WFAA News, authorities in the suburb of Carrollton were searching for whoever was responsible for covering a car in what appeared to be Kraft Singles—a bit of tomfoolery that, as the site Munchies points out, appears to be a "thing." (Quotes added to signify that I am old and out-of-touch.) Though the police say cheesing a car technically isn't a crime, additional damage was also reported, so they needed to track down the culprits.
Officer Parker Powell said that leads were thin until investigators came up with a cheesy idea. "The call was, 'Hey, I've got some cheese prints. I heard maybe you could help us out.' I said, 'What?'" he told WFAA. But after dusting, he realized they were on to something: "On probably about three of the slices there were really good fingerprints."
Police were so happy with the cheese prints that Carrollton PD even shared the results on their Twitter account. "Today we learned two things," the post began. "1) Covering cars in cheese slices is apparently the new trend in criminal mischief. 2) Cheese slices produce GREAT fingerprints." As the department's photo shows, a light dusting revealed the orange cheese slice to be absolutely covered in prints: Not only a boon for the case, but also a reminder as to why you should melt the hell out of a grilled cheese sandwich if you're cooking it while committing crimes.
There no word yet if the vandal has been tracked down, but the police have definitely made a larger point: If you're going to prank someone with cheese, think like a cafeteria worker and wear gloves.
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