Back in my day, we had to walk 20 miles uphill in a snowstorm to get to school—both ways! And we were barefoot! We didn’t worry about seat belts, we smoked two packs a day, and most importantly, ketchup was just ketchup. And you know what? We liked it that way. (Disclaimer: I’m 24 years old and none of these things are true. When I was a kid I happily dipped my fries in purple EZ Squirt).
Heinz announced today that it will continue its campaign against classic ketchup—and this time, Ed Sheeran is involved.
https://www.instagram.com/p/ByVKUSzBgr5/
It's actually real and you’ll be able to get your hands on one very soon #Edchup #KetchupDay #EDxHEINZ #TheDreamThatKeepsOnGiving #Advert ? @marksurridge
A post shared byEd Sheeran (@teddysphotos) on
It seems that the singer really, really loves the condiment. In fact, he even has a tattoo dedicated to Heinz. So, yeah, he’s a fan.
But instead of just enjoying ketchup like the rest of us, he had to go and put his name on the bottle like some sort of ketchup tyrant. That's right—the world is on fire and Edchup exists.
The egomania doesn’t end there. A quick scroll through his Instagram feed reveals that he actually approached Heinz first.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BvyoBqUBw7s/
Yo @heinz I have an idea for a tv ad if you wanna do one, if not I won’t be offended, I could never be mad at you. Slide in my DMs or have your people call my people. Lots of love, your biggest fan x
A post shared byEd Sheeran (@teddysphotos) on
“Yo @heinz I have an idea for a tv ad if you wanna do one, if not I won’t be offended, I could never be mad at you,” he captioned a photo in April. “Slide in my DMs or have your people call my people. Lots of love, your biggest fan x.”
It’s distasteful, really. And to announce it on National Ketchup Day of all days?! SMH.There is one bit of good news I can offer you, though: The Heinz formula is the same—the only thing that’s special about Edchup is the label.
https://www.instagram.com/p/ByVOGOkAjvd/
#EdChup It’s here. It’s Perfect ?. Click link in bio to buy yours while supplies last. #EDxHEINZ @teddysphotos
A post shared byHeinz Ketchup (@heinz) on
If you’re interested in purchasing this abomination, you can order a bottle for $5 (plus shipping and tax) on Heinz’ website now.
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